1. Say to yourself: “I am having an intense memory.” The feelings and sensations

you are experiencing are past memories.

2. Remind yourself: “ I feel sad but I know the duration this intense feeling will

lessen.” Remember you are now in the present.

3. Own your right/need to have boundaries. Remind yourself that you do not have

to allow anyone's opinion about your reaction; including yourself. Don't let anyone

“should” you.

4. Speak reassuringly to yourself. Your inner self (often a child self) needs to know

that you love yourself unconditionally and that it is safe to express yourself however

you feel.

5. Deconstruct eternity thinking. During intense memories, sadness, fear and

abandonment may appear and feel endless- a happy future may be unimaginable.

Remember that the intense memory will pass as it has many times before.

6. Ease back into your body. The anxiety of the intense memory may cause your

body to tense, breathing to be shallow, blood pressure to rise.

 Breathe deeply and slowly into your belly.

 Gently ask your body to relax: feel each of your major muscle groups and

softly encourage them to relax.

 Slow down: rushing things allows the stress response in the body to continue.

 Find a safe place to unwind and soothe yourself.

 Feel the emotions in your body without reacting to it. Intense negative

emotions are just an energy in your body that cannot hurt you if you do not run

from it or react self-destructively to it.

7. Resist the inner critic's drasticizing and catastrophizing.

 Use thought substitution. Use your ANTs worksheet if necessary to replace

negative thinking with a memorized list of positive phrases and/or a list of your

qualities and accomplishments.

8. Allow yourself to grieve. intense memories are opportunities to release old,

unexpressed feelings of fear, hurt, sadness, abandonment, etc. and to validate- and

then soothe- the past experience. Healthy grieving can turn our tears into self-

compassion and self protection.

9. Cultivate safe relationships and seek support. Take time alone when you need

it, but don't let shame isolate you. Feeling shame does not mean you are shameful.

Educate your support network about your intense memories and ask them to help

you talk and feel your way through them.

10. Learn to identify the types of triggers that lead to intense memories. Practice

preventive maintenance with these steps when triggering situations are

unavoidable.

11. Figure out what you are flashing back to. Intense memories are opportunities to

discover, validate and heal our wounds.

12. Be patient with yourself. It takes time in the present to become un-adrenalized

and considerable time in the future to gradually decrease the intensity, duration and

frequency of intense memories. Improvements are a gradual, progressive process

(often two steps forward, one step back).

Adapted and modified from http://www.naasca.org/2017-Articles/031417-13Steps4ManagingFlashbacks.htm

by Valeria Neiman.